November 26/2017

The Family Kitchen Table

a moment for families and couples

 

How to Help Someone Who Has an Addiction (adapted from Christian Women’s magazine)

Helping a friend or family member who has an addiction can be difficult. Here are a few helpful things to do and hurtful things to avoid.
First of all in order to help a friend or family member with an addiction, you need support and a prayer team. The enemy uses addiction as one tool to capture good people into bondage, and he will never give up trying to hold on. The battle becomes fierce at times, and you, the helper, will need support. Your team approach of resources and people must include intercessors for you. Fatigue, discouragement, illness, confusion, and
misunderstanding are common. But don't turn from the challenge! Helping someone find freedom in Christ is the most rewarding service we can offer the kingdom of God on earth—so here are some helpful things to say and do:

1. Do know that the first task is to understand what is going on. From that information, discern what type of help is appropriate.
2. Do realize that an addict is never "recovered." Just as sanctification or growing up in Christ is never  finished, neither is recovery. The disease of addiction lurks waiting to re-ensnare the victim. Learned young as a coping strategy, those automatic responses dim over time with the practice of recovery rituals and right thinking, but never really goes away. Just as Paul embraced his "thorn" as an opportunity to live in Christ's strength and to accept his weakness, so the addict is always in recovery, completely dependent on Christ's power. The good news is that Christ's power is greater than the power of the addiction—the recovery addict can rest safely in his care.
3. Do understand that it takes a while for her change from impaired thinking to recovery thinking, and to replace addiction rituals with recovery rituals.
4. Do continually share the truth of Christ's empowerment, and be ready to point it out each time it's  experienced. The addict most likely will not recognize Christ's work in the beginning—you'll benefit from saying things like, "Hey Anne, did you realize that God prompted you to call me when you were thinking of getting some beer? That's terrific! Thank You, God, for helping Anne."
5. Do make a statement of the truth of Christ's love rather than a question. For example, "God loves you and you will come to know that," is more helpful than saying, "Don't you know that God loves you?" God is very capable of getting the message they need to hear across in a way she'll be able to receive it.
6. Do be very careful to use word statements of encouragement and support when failure happens instead of a statement that would come across as guilting or shaming—chances are they got enough of that growing up.

November 5/2017

The Family Kitchen Table

a moment for families and couples

 

“Church is boring…” I know many parents may have heard their kids say this….

I am always appreciative of those who follow the commands of scripture to not forsake gathering together. (see Hebrews 10:25). Many times we think that church is about me and my needs and my family’s needs and my satisfaction and my comfort. Paul rebuked the dysfunctional Corinthian church in 1 Cor. 11:17 exhorting them to gather in an orderly fashion and without contentions. He even goes further to say that the factions that were taking place prove who is of a mature character by the way they handled themselves in the church. What Paul is saying to the church is , it is not about you. Gathering for worship is a spiritual activity that is all about God and our worship of Him. Most people don’t have a problem with wanting to go to heaven and be with Jesus after they die, but what is their attitude here on earth? On this side of eternity? The same Jesus we will worship in heaven is the same Jesus we worship here on earth. When we gather for worship we are first and foremost gathering to meet with and worship the Living God, the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus said that He ‘is the same yesterday, today and forever.” There is nothing boring about that. And when we worship God, a supernatural and deeply spiritual activity occurs. We are set right with God in our minds, and in our hearts. It is like a scale that needs to be zeroed in after each use. Our priorities get in order, our focus becomes clearer for life and our hearts and minds get uncluttered. Yes we do meet as a community; as a faith family, and show our love and appreciation for one another and serve one another with our gifts, but let us never forget that it is not about us, but all about Jesus.

In fact it has been said that worship on earth is a rehearsal for heaven. Don’t miss a practice.

 

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